Reflection

How have I spent my holidays? This is the question that has been popping in my mind ever since the start of this week. Most probably is due to the last week of my holiday. From next week onwards, I would have to move on to a new phase of my life, probably the most important phase of my life up till now. There should be no regrets, no looking back and what remains is only perseverance and motivation. I must bear in mind to complete it no matter wat! Back to the question post, I feel that it is quite a well-spent holiday. I had a fun time hanging out with my dear friends. Every hang out is satisfied and happy. It make my days shine and I have become happier as a result. I hope that I would still have these wonderful times even after i begin this new phase of life.
Reflecting on how I have gone through my undergraduate years, I can only comment that I havent been really mature in handling matters. In some way or another, I had not been careful in my actions and unintentionally hurt those close around me.I am not good with words but I can sincerely say that I really didnt mean it. Sometimes, I wanted to apologise or show my care and concern and get my feelings across, but somehow, the words are stuck in my mouth and the consequences that is brought to myself is a broken and guilty heart. The dilemma has tortured me for a very long time. I hate myself for the lack of courage to speak up and choose to remain silent and ignorant about it. At other times, I would just become moody and refused to speak up. Again, I didnt mean to hurt anyone. I promise I will be more frank but do not run away from me. haha.I am really really thankful for all my friends' support and concern. Every encouragement is received and remembered, which had given me the strength to carry on and be what I am now. I must say that I am sorry that I am sometimes a bit of naggy and likes to grumble. I am not an old woman yet and I am already grumpy. I shouldnt be selfish and ask all of u to hear my grumbles in 10, 20 or even infinity years down the road. However, I really hope that this special friendship bond will not break and last for eternity whereby we would chat on the phone/msn often and maybe have high tea and shake legs in some place and reminisce and laugh at the moments during schooling years. I would just be wat I am (hopefully more out-spoken, be a better person)now even after infinity years. I would not want to be changed and moulded by the ugly competitive world outside but to be identified and remain as a playful and childish mh known to u all.